So, my word for the year is seek and to help with that I have started a new 1-year YouVersion reading plan. I guess when you are seeking something, or Someone, the best place to start is where you know they are. I have resolved to start each morning with 15 minutes in the Word, letting it wash over me and set the direction for my day. I've never really been good at quiet time, I suppose because I've never really been all that intentional about it. It's a small step, but we're talking about a whole year here and, so far, this is working well for me.
By the way, I don't think God is offended by our small steps, I think He is probably looking on, thinking "It's about time, dear one. Now, let me show you what else....". He promises us that when we seek Him, we will find Him and, I imagine, He jumps at the chance to throw us a lifeline and guide us in, in to His heart and in to His will for our lives.
The other day, I was working in the kitchen and clicked on a playlist I had made when I was in Rwanda. The name of the playlist is JustJesus and, as I listened, I realized it was full of little prayers that filled my heart at the time. So many prayers that I couldn't even voice, these songs were my heart cries to God. Anyway, as Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) floated through the air, I realized I had been praying a very dangerous prayer: "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior."
Well, God has been answering that prayer and I have been responding like a spoiled, little brat. Because I didn't understand. Trust without borders isn't always easy and walking on water probably isn't for the faint of heart, either. Wherever You would call me could include a lot of places. And the big piece that I was missing is, if you're going to ask God for greatness, you might want to be prepared to shed some weakness. So, with a fair amount of pouting, I can see that we are going deeper than my feet could ever wander (or would ever, in a million years, even want to), and my faith is being made stronger in the presence of my Savior.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
And that's pretty much where we are today. Twenty days into the new year, and twenty days of seeking, I've come to this: God is for us. Always. I don't believe He, intentionally, hides from us. I don't think He enjoys watching us squirm. In fact, it must really break His heart to see how quickly I begin to waiver in my faith. I do believe that He allows certain circumstances and scenarios that require us to seek Him. And in seeking Him we gain, not just understanding, but a fresh perspective and renewed strength. All things that are more than welcome around here!