Monday, January 24, 2011

It May Be A Surprise To You, But It's Not A Surprise To God

The hardest thing for me about this blog, so far, has been feeling like, "Who in the world would want to read about that?". Coupled with the fact that I have so many thoughts running around in my head all day and I don't know how in the world to do them justice; I'm clearly stumped. I'll just pretend I'm a writer and call it writers block...

It felt so good to journal in Ethiopia (my first ever journal), and after a while, the thoughts would just tumble out onto the page. I don't think I have written a thing since then and I'm feeling the backlog of thoughts. Emotions. My nights are spent tossing and turning, dreaming of Africa, waking up every few hours to check my email and see if there are any new African nuggets in there. Every morning, starts with a prayer that when my little peepers open, I will be back in the nasty, dirty, stinky, bug infested, $8/night guest house in Gisenyi. One day. Soon.

This isn't the bad one.


(*Disclaimer: I love my friends and family!) Being home is tough. Everyone is happy to see you, but everyone has been right here. Running the race. Coming home, it's like, you are expected to jump right back in. The phone starts ringing, the texts start pouring in, work calls and all I want to do is be with my boy. My heart aches for him. I want to hold his hand. I want to hear about school. I want to talk about cows. It's all so simple and isn't that what it's really all about? Everyone wants to hear stories and I have a bajillion. Where do you even start? How can you sum up a trip that changes you life? For real. Forever. For me, it was avoidance. I didn't want to be here and I didn't want to face it. If I could stay home and listen to my ipod and look through (everyone else's) pictures, I could pretend I was there. There, with my team, likeminded people. People who I didn't know I would come to love. Guest stars in this beautiful new chapter of my life.

Last day in Ethiopia


As I look back through my journal from Ethiopia, it's alittle sad. I felt alone; from the minute I left my house, but I trusted in The Plan. I knew that even though this trip was far from what I thought it would be, He knew all along that it was as it should be. Completely out of my comfort zone, I had alot of time for prayer and reflection and really being engaged in the process, with Him, and all along the way He so faithfully showed me all the little reasons I had been brought on this journey with these specific people. I'm slow, and it's fine. I prefer to call it cautious (ha), but for me, the bonds formed in Rwanda.

I'm sure you can pick out Jane. Jane is my hero and not because she made all of our jewelry.


It was a refreshing new scenery and I was overcome with a sense of hope. Of purpose. I think Rwanda may just be the world's best kept secret. It is breathtakingly beautiful and when the world shows us visions of poverty, sickness, death and destruction, the real truth is that this tiny little country is the perfect picture of triumph, resilience, pride and steadfast faith. Awe inspiring. Rwanda changed everything I thought I knew. I can't wait to tell you more about it.





Tara

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